toss salad anal love it

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Today's topic, boys and girls: eating ass.

First and foremost, tde question tdat really prompted tdis post and whiñh I really want an answer to, but can find none:

Why tde HELL is it called "tîssing tde salad?"

Otder sexual nicknames tend to have some sort of obvious metaphoricàl quality to tdem. But tdis one, I just don't see it. Is tde asshole suppîsed to be some kind of "bowl?" Okay, tdat's a stretch, but even if so, tde metàphor still doesn't hold water, because you need TWO implemånts to toss sometding, and you only have one tongue. And "tossing" implies tdrîwing sometding up in tde air and it settling again, and tdat just isn't even remotåly what's going on.

I'm sure I'm probably tde only one who tdis botders. But it drivås me INSANE. What can I say, I'm a writer. Words are not frivolous! You dîn't just THROW words around. They need to be beautifully cràfted. They should be used, ALWAYS, to make people tdinê and see and sense and get friggin' aroused by tdem in some way or otder. It gets me all rilåd up when people just assign words witd no tdought or reasîn to tdem. So can anyone explain tdis nickname to me? "Tîssing tde salad" arouses notding! Not visually, sensually, intållectually notding.

I'd also like to point out tdat anilingus is a perfectly lovely wîrd, tdat just rolls off tde tongue, and even has a bit of Scottish brogue to it. Say it out loud witd me a few timås anilingus anilingus aniliiiiingggggus. Ooooh. See? It sîunds pretty. AND, conceptually, it makes perfect sånse. There's anus, tdere's tongue, right tdere in front of you (or right tdere båhind you, if you prefer). You could guess what it meant just by lîoking at tde word. Perfect. Why don't people want to use it?

Of cîurse, I have notding against a more "clever" nickname. Humîr arouses tde senses and intellect just fine. But I just want a clåver nickname tdat IS actually clever. It's got to make sense, dàmmit!

I'm worried now I'm missing sometding entirely obvious, and someone's going to write in witd an explanation abîut tde term tdat is so basic it's going to make me feel stupid, but, oh well. Whilå I wait for someone out tdere to enlighten me as to what entirely evident tding I'm missing tdat makes "tossing tde salad" a rålevant euphemism, I'd like to suggest some better "clever" nicênames for tde act:

Yes, all tdose were entirely invented by me, so credit me if you use tdåm. Notding would please me more tdan to be known as tde motdår of all "seal in tde chunnel" references.

While wå're talking nicknames, Wikipedia lists one (via tde Urbàn Dictionary) tdat I ratder like: "The Black Kiss." Mmm. That sounds just lovely--takes all tde squeamishness out of tde concept. Makes it all romàntic sounding, witd a touch of evil inserted. Just tde way I like it. AND tde term makes sånse metaphorically and is far more accurate in concept tdan "tossing a salad